What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Can it be true that people know your name, not your story, they’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through, so take their opinions of you with a grain of salt?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What! how could you do that?

Why do Democrats look like snowflakes and Republicans look like Vikings?

What do you mean son?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why are people nowadays so into anal sex?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.